As Cesar Millan has been known to say "You don't get the dog you want, you get the dog you need." When my wife and I adopted two rescue dogs from local shelters, that turned out to be true for me. While I've been in leadership roles before at work as a team leader, I didn't always feel comfortable with parts of the job. Trying to be a responsible owner of a pit bull has changed that to a large extent. While I already knew some of the things I've listed below, they were definitely reinforced for me by working with Copper and Kashmir. I'm sure this list isn't complete. My dogs have lot more to teach me.
- If you're supposed to be the leader, you need to act like it.
- If you don't lead, someone else likely will. You probably won't like what they do.
- Leadership first; friendship/affection/love later.
- Don't be apologetic when giving orders or direction. It's part of your job as a leader.
- Don't be harsh when giving orders.
- Be very clear on what your expectations are, and what rules you have.
- Be consistent in enforcing the rules. Sending mixed messages will cause confusion and demoralization.
- Don't have more rules than truly necessary.
- Trust in you and respect of you by others has to be earned. Trust and respect of others by you should be the default until shown otherwise.
- Rewards and recognition have to be individualized or you risk them being meaningless to the recipient.
- You have to know the recipient well enough to know what reward is meaningful to them. Take the time to find out.
- Rewards for achievement need to be given immediately, not some time later. Plan ahead.
- Never give praise or rewards when they haven't been earned.
- Always give praise or rewards when they have been earned.
- Praise should be effusive. Discipline should be calm, restrained, and no more than necessary.
- If a reward was promised for an achievement, you have to deliver it, even if it costs you personally.
- Don't promise rewards if you're not sure you can deliver them.
- Making a big deal out of failure is counterproductive. Deal with it, learn from it and move on.
- Preventing bad behavior is far better than handing out consequences afterward.
- When bad behavior is exhibited, it needs to be addressed immediately. Ignoring it will only make things worse.
- When things go haywire, keeping calm is by far more effective than getting excited or panicked.
- If they truly believe you are the leader, and that you "have their back," they'll do nearly anything in the world for you.
- When you're teaching a new skill, patience and calm persistence is critical. Achievement will likely come in small increments, not "all at once."
- If you don't know how to teach a skill, don't try. Find someone who does know how to teach it.
- Skills need to be periodically practiced and reinforced, or they'll be lost.
- Failing to provide training is a recipe for disaster.
- Fairness is often in the eye of the beholder. You may need to go a little out of your way at times to help everyone feel that what you're doing is fair.
- Your needs are not the only ones that matter. If their needs aren't being met too, trouble is inevitable.
